Death Becomes Her (1992)

When a stunning, successful and adored dame steals the man in your life again, the only logical thing to do is off her, right? Well... after you finish your seven year binge-eating, obsessive cat lady phase. Goldie Hawn is Helen Sharp, whose fiance (Bruce Willis) is once again devoured by the insatiable, youth seeking Madeline Ashton (Meryl Streep). Months of counselling brings Helen to the sinister conclusion that the only way to reclaim her husband and end Madeline's reign of feminine terror is to wipe her from the face of Earth.

Willis is Dr. Menville, a brilliant plastic surgeon whose work has captured the eye of Madeline. An actress for the stage, she has become fixated on wrinkles and dark spots and anything that might reveal her age. As the years wear on, however, the makeup and facials stop working their magic and she must look somewhere other than the work of her husband, now a limp makeup artist for the deceased.

Helen's return, thin and beautiful as ever, and aggressively seeking her man back, Madeline is frightened into asking for the help of Lisle Von Rhuman (Isabella Rossellini) who gives her a potion which will make her beautiful forever. When Helen and Dr. Menville plot to kill Madeline they discover that not only is she young and beautiful, she is immortal.

Robert Zemeckis directs this wacky, FX-laden comedy with style, but unfortunately it isn't very funny. The 90's were a spectacular time for idiotic plots centered around magic and the wiles of women, but the tones are never quite right and everyone's purpose in the story is rather muddled. Helen is meant to try and kill Madeline which is all well and good. I expected a comedic send-up of "Fatal Attraction". But that plot seems to go by the wayside when Madeline, in a fit of hysterics, finds herself at a random castle patrolled by dobermans and virile young men.

From there the story devolves into some sort of romp between two insecure women fighting for a squirrely little man with no possible outcome. The characters become walking mannequins for Zemeckis's makeup and silly story about two petty women trying to get the attention of men who don't want them.

I did like this for all of the references and little in-jokes. My favorite was the scheme Helen and the doctor were forming to kill Madeline. Their goal was to drive her off of a cliff on Mulholland Drive.  Although the film did not come out until ten years after "Death Becomes Her," David Lynch directed a film called "Mulholland Drive". One of his other films was "Blue Velvet" which was Rossellini's claim to fame. A bit of a stretch, but it's little connections like that which makes me smile.

This may be a good drinking film. When sober, however, it's mind-numbing with not much to speak for it besides a good cast in hollow roles.

2/4